In his latest passing observations, Dr. Vernon Coleman gives a rundown of his view about the state of the medical profession, specifically general practice, in the UK. If you have hypochondriacal tendencies, this article is not for you – or maybe it is, as it may cure you.
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1. In an attempt to cut their working week, general practitioners (“GPs”) are campaigning hard for less onerous hours. At the moment the average British GP works just 23 hours a week. It is perhaps hardly surprising that patients have to wait weeks to be seen by a doctor. Britain has the longest waiting times in the world. It is common for patients to die while waiting to be seen. GPs in the UK can earn £250,000 to £300,000 a year. Doctors now earn more than ever and do less work than ever. A recent report concluded that three-quarters of British GPs are too busy to speak with their patients in depth. “Hello, here’s a prescription for some toxic pills, now piss off,” appears to be the standard greeting offered by 94% of doctors.
2. Since Britain’s official licensing body, the General Medical Council (“GMC”), introduced its absurd, pointless and widely disliked revalidation scheme for doctors, the quality of care provided appears to have deteriorated still further. If the GMC were disbanded and its vast staff retrained to fill potholes, the UK would be a happier and healthier place.
3. Many GP practices now cut their workload by using the absurdly misnamed Advanced Clinical Practitioners (“ACPs”) to do their work for them. These ACPs do not have a medical degree or a licence to practice medicine but they are widely used as “fake doctors.” And patients are dying because these fakes are often dangerously incompetent. In future, patients should ask, “Are you a proper doctor?” when confronted by someone purporting to offer medical advice.
4. Some doctors are now limiting patients to one symptom per consultation. And so in week one a patient will see a doctor and announce, “I have a cough.” At their second appointment, four weeks later, the patient will say: “And I get very breathless.” At their third appointment, another four weeks later, the patient will add: “And I have a pain in my chest.” There will be no need for a fourth appointment because the patient will be dead.
5. Inspired by hospitals which make a fortune out of charging patients and visitors huge fees to park their cars, GPs are now introducing fees for patients who want to park their cars before being seen. Medical practice these days is largely about money. Patient care is an add-on extra.
6. Modern doctors are too lazy to take blood samples or to measure blood pressures or to do any of the routine procedures traditionally dealt with by proper doctors. The result is more delays and more unnecessary deaths. Doctors claim they do this because they are so busy. This is a barefaced lie. It takes no more than a minute or two to take a blood sample. And patients who need to have blood taken, their weight measured and their blood pressure taken must make three visits – wasting their time and money.
7. Doctors claim they don’t visit patients because of global warming. This is another bare-faced lie. Far less fuel is used if doctors visit their patients than if all their patients must visit the surgery. And patients without cars have to struggle with expensive taxis or a useless bus service.
8. GPs’ surgeries in the UK boast that they use triage to decide which patients need the most urgent treatment. Their triage system decides who needs to be seen in a month’s time and who needs to be seen in three weeks. The triage is not done by doctors (too busy playing golf, appearing on one another’s podcasts or providing expensive medical advice on internet sites) or nurses (too busy giving toxic vaccines to the unsuspecting innocent) but by hired hands proudly equipped with certificates announcing that they have passed their O-level garden fencing examinations.
9. Today’s GPs have been proved to be lazier and greedier than GPs of any other era in history. A friend of mine suggested that the world would be a safer place if most of them were hung, drawn and quartered, but I had to point out to him that making such a suggestion, even as a satirical comment, is not allowed.
10. Supporters of death-by-doctor bills around the world should know that a two-year-old was recently euthanised in the Netherlands, where children under 12 can now be legally killed by their doctor. A two-year-old. Euthanasia supporters (such as those who supported the absurdly dangerous Assisted Dying Bill which was recently, and properly, thrown out by the House of Commons in Britain) always claim that things like this will never happen. Now we definitely know that they’re wrong.
11. Many of the laziest doctors think it is possible to diagnose patients over the telephone or the internet. These doctors are dangerously incompetent and so stupid that they probably need someone to help them tie their shoelaces, clean their teeth and tell them their names. Trying to diagnose patients without actually seeing them and examining them is like trying to eat a meal over the telephone or the internet.
12. Almost all the patients visiting GPs these days are babies (being taken by their mothers to be vaccinated) and the very old and feeble who go in hope inspired by memories of better times. Young and middle-aged adults no longer bother to visit their doctor – knowing that they will be treated with contempt, disdain and incompetence.
13. Just because members of Generation Z claim to suffer more from stress, and mental illness, does not mean that they are exposed to more stress than previous generations. It just means that they react more dramatically because their sense of entitlement is much greater.
14. In the 1980s I wrote a book called ‘Bodypower’ in which I described the wonders of the human body. I included a section describing experiments showing that women could use hypnotherapy and visualisation to help increase the size of their breasts. The Sunday Mirror newspaper bought the serial rights to the book and we conducted a properly planned experiment (with a number of volunteers) which proved conclusively that the technique worked. Recently I read that the leader of Britain’s Green Party (Zack Polanski) was reported to have used my technique but now seems eager to disassociate himself from the technique. He should be braver. The research work (described in Bodypower) is sound.
About the Author
Vernon Coleman, MB ChB DSc, practised medicine for ten years. He has been a full-time professional author for over 30 years. He is a novelist and campaigning writer and has written many non-fiction books. He has written over 100 books, which have been translated into 22 languages. On his website, HERE, there are hundreds of articles which are free to read. Since mid-December 2024, Dr Coleman has also been publishing articles on Substack; you can subscribe to and follow him on Substack HERE.
There are no ads, no fees and no requests for donations on Dr. Coleman’s website or videos. He pays for everything through book sales. If you would like to help finance his work, please consider purchasing a book – there are over 100 books by Vernon Coleman available in print on Amazon.
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